--
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams - Mostly Harmless
Bert got that water lol thats what I was thinkin gwhen I read it too I was like damn, starbucks realy is over rpiced then I was like OHHH Bert got water lol
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin" Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
Bert was waiting in line at a Starbucks in a rest area off the New Jersey Turnpike at one in the morning when he saw Gerard. Gerard was standing by a trash can about twenty feet away from him, staring like a small animal about to be run over by a car. At first Bert could only stare back, silently willing Gerard to go away, far away, because they had a show the next day, and he was hung over and exhausted, and he had to buy Quinn a motherfucking pumpkin spice latté, and he just didn't have the energy for this shit.
But of course Gerard couldn't just let it go, because he never let anything go. Bert remembered how he could discuss a subject for hours, going on and on, and Bert would end up agreeing with everything he said just so he would shut the fuck up and take his pants off already.
After dropping his empty paper cup into the trash, Gerard approached Bert at the end of the line. He had messy black hair, an outfit made up of three layers of black that looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks, and he was regarding Bert with a mixture of resigned sadness and gentle honesty that would've looked retarded on anyone else.
"It's good to see you," Gerard said.
Bert didn't know what bothered him more: that Gerard said something so clichéd, or that he looked like he sincerely meant it.
"Eat shit and die, asshole," Bert muttered.
Gerard smiled. "How's the tour going?"
Bert put his hand to his forehead. "Seriously, we haven't spoken in like two years now, and that's been working out great for me, so why don't you just fuck off."
Gerard took a few steps backward, and for a moment Bert thought he'd won, but Gerard was just getting out of the way for a pair of teenage girls who were trying to get into the Starbucks line.
"I'm sure you have to go soon," Gerard said. "But I think we need to get some things out in the open. It'll only take a minute."
Bert reluctantly stepped out of the line and followed Gerard into an adjacent area with small plastic tables, though neither of them sat down.
Gerard forced a weak smile and ran his hand back over his hair. "I'm tired of hearing you talk shit about me through friends, and other bands, and songs." He looked at Bert with big, sincere eyes. "Whatever you have to say to me, say it. Whatever you need for closure, just do it." He spread his arms out in a welcoming gesture. "If you need to hit me, go ahead."
"You would fucking love that," Bert said. "Then you could blame everything on me, just like you always did."
"I never "
"I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction of making me angry," Bert spat out.
Gerard smirked. "I heard your album didn't sell as well as the label thought it would."
Bert patted his pockets, wishing he'd brought his cigarettes in. "Real mature, asshole. You wanna provoke me, try something I give a shit about."
"Quinn's riffs are weak."
"Your brother's a dick for quitting the band."
"He didn't " Gerard pursed his lips together. "Your voice sounds like shit after your surgery."
Bert smiled at him ruefully. "I'm taking bets on how long your marriage is gonna last."
"Alison's too good for you."
Bert snorted. Like he didn't know that. "Back when we met, Brian begged me to take you on tour with us, because every other band thought you were a fucking joke."
"I only hooked up with you because you were easy."
Bert felt the anger rising in his chest, but he refused to give in to it. "I faked every orgasm with you."
Gerard frowned. "What? That's not even possible."
"You're a phony."
"Your hair looks stupid."
Bert took a step forward, so that he was close enough to Gerard to touch him. When he spoke, his voice was low and gravely. "You play kissing games with Frank on stage every night, but you'd never admit that we were together, because you're a fucking coward, and that's why I don't respect you."
Gerard took a deep breath, his eyes flickering with something that looked like fear. "I never loved you."
Bert felt his stomach fall, and his vision was blurry from how angry he was. He narrowed his eyes and sneered. "You look fat."
Gerard punched him in the face.
It was more the shock of Gerard throwing a punch than the impact itself that sent Bert to the ground. By the time he got to his feet, Gerard was gone. The line at Starbucks had dwindled down to nothing, leaving just a wide-eyes barista watching him from behind the counter. "Are you okay?" she asked. "Do you want me to call security?"
Bert went up to the counter, took a bottle of water out of the cooler, and pressed it against his eye. "Venti pumpkin spice latté," he said.
"Oh, um...sure." She rang up the drink and the water. "That'll be eight twenty five."
Bert handed her a crumpled ten-dollar bill.
"Here you go," she said a moment later as she handed the drink to him. "Are you sure you're all right? That was crazy."
With the bottle of water still pressed to his eye, Bert just smiled. "I bring this sort of thing out in people."
"Well, um...have a nice day!" the barista said cheerfully.
Bert walked outside. The parking lot was dark, with just a handful of small cars. Their tour bus was at the far corner, parked close to the grass so the dogs could get out and piss. As he made his way to the bus, he opened the water and took a sip. He'd told everyone he was fine to go back on tour, but the truth was his throat hurt like hell every day. He touched his eye, which felt twice as swollen as it had just a minute ago, and winced. But Bert didn't mind. As far as he was concerned, a little pain meant he was still alive. As he got closer to the bus, he saw a light in one of the windows and heard Quinn laughing, and he started walking faster.
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin" Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
Devious Comments
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Everyone lies.. Nobody minds...
Happy holidays!
Merry christmas and happy new year!
my dear friend!
[[:
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
--
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams - Mostly Harmless
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
:3
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
Hmmm.
Please do explain.
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[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
[[:
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
--
Home
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
right.
mkay.
makes sense.
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
That was fierce.
Not what I quite imagined, but pretty good.
&&
they over priced the venti by like two bucks
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
Still!
That's so awesome!
&& yes, i do like your jacket Gee!!
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
But of course Gerard couldn't just let it go, because he never let anything go. Bert remembered how he could discuss a subject for hours, going on and on, and Bert would end up agreeing with everything he said just so he would shut the fuck up and take his pants off already.
After dropping his empty paper cup into the trash, Gerard approached Bert at the end of the line. He had messy black hair, an outfit made up of three layers of black that looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks, and he was regarding Bert with a mixture of resigned sadness and gentle honesty that would've looked retarded on anyone else.
"It's good to see you," Gerard said.
Bert didn't know what bothered him more: that Gerard said something so clichéd, or that he looked like he sincerely meant it.
"Eat shit and die, asshole," Bert muttered.
Gerard smiled. "How's the tour going?"
Bert put his hand to his forehead. "Seriously, we haven't spoken in like two years now, and that's been working out great for me, so why don't you just fuck off."
Gerard took a few steps backward, and for a moment Bert thought he'd won, but Gerard was just getting out of the way for a pair of teenage girls who were trying to get into the Starbucks line.
"I'm sure you have to go soon," Gerard said. "But I think we need to get some things out in the open. It'll only take a minute."
Bert reluctantly stepped out of the line and followed Gerard into an adjacent area with small plastic tables, though neither of them sat down.
Gerard forced a weak smile and ran his hand back over his hair. "I'm tired of hearing you talk shit about me through friends, and other bands, and songs." He looked at Bert with big, sincere eyes. "Whatever you have to say to me, say it. Whatever you need for closure, just do it." He spread his arms out in a welcoming gesture. "If you need to hit me, go ahead."
"You would fucking love that," Bert said. "Then you could blame everything on me, just like you always did."
"I never "
"I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction of making me angry," Bert spat out.
Gerard smirked. "I heard your album didn't sell as well as the label thought it would."
Bert patted his pockets, wishing he'd brought his cigarettes in. "Real mature, asshole. You wanna provoke me, try something I give a shit about."
"Quinn's riffs are weak."
"Your brother's a dick for quitting the band."
"He didn't " Gerard pursed his lips together. "Your voice sounds like shit after your surgery."
Bert smiled at him ruefully. "I'm taking bets on how long your marriage is gonna last."
"Alison's too good for you."
Bert snorted. Like he didn't know that. "Back when we met, Brian begged me to take you on tour with us, because every other band thought you were a fucking joke."
"I only hooked up with you because you were easy."
Bert felt the anger rising in his chest, but he refused to give in to it. "I faked every orgasm with you."
Gerard frowned. "What? That's not even possible."
"You're a phony."
"Your hair looks stupid."
Bert took a step forward, so that he was close enough to Gerard to touch him. When he spoke, his voice was low and gravely. "You play kissing games with Frank on stage every night, but you'd never admit that we were together, because you're a fucking coward, and that's why I don't respect you."
Gerard took a deep breath, his eyes flickering with something that looked like fear. "I never loved you."
Bert felt his stomach fall, and his vision was blurry from how angry he was. He narrowed his eyes and sneered. "You look fat."
Gerard punched him in the face.
It was more the shock of Gerard throwing a punch than the impact itself that sent Bert to the ground. By the time he got to his feet, Gerard was gone. The line at Starbucks had dwindled down to nothing, leaving just a wide-eyes barista watching him from behind the counter. "Are you okay?" she asked. "Do you want me to call security?"
Bert went up to the counter, took a bottle of water out of the cooler, and pressed it against his eye. "Venti pumpkin spice latté," he said.
"Oh, um...sure." She rang up the drink and the water. "That'll be eight twenty five."
Bert handed her a crumpled ten-dollar bill.
"Here you go," she said a moment later as she handed the drink to him. "Are you sure you're all right? That was crazy."
With the bottle of water still pressed to his eye, Bert just smiled. "I bring this sort of thing out in people."
"Well, um...have a nice day!" the barista said cheerfully.
Bert walked outside. The parking lot was dark, with just a handful of small cars. Their tour bus was at the far corner, parked close to the grass so the dogs could get out and piss. As he made his way to the bus, he opened the water and took a sip. He'd told everyone he was fine to go back on tour, but the truth was his throat hurt like hell every day. He touched his eye, which felt twice as swollen as it had just a minute ago, and winced. But Bert didn't mind. As far as he was concerned, a little pain meant he was still alive. As he got closer to the bus, he saw a light in one of the windows and heard Quinn laughing, and he started walking faster.
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
[btw that didn't work I just went to the URL]
Did you record that or was it someone else?
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
AH!
--
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
--
Where there is a Gerard, there is a Way.
[[:
--
[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
--
Where there is a Gerard, there is a Way.
I like it.
go buy them.
now, now, now.
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[Your eyes tell lies you mouth can never spill]
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